Wednesday, July 20, 2011

A Criminal in my house

I love all the creatures of nature (well, excluding snakes).  In my gardens I provide food, water, and shelter for pollinators like birds and bees.  And I love watching bats fly around overhead at dusk, knowing that they help keep the bug population down.

In the center of my patio, I have a koi pond.  This is my favorite place to relax - it is filled with flowers and is a constant hub of bees and butterflies.  A family of charming frogs moved in this spring.

The squirrels hop from branch to branch in the tall oaks and maples - chattering and busily gathering acorns.  So cute!  And bunnies!  Even though I have a vegetable garden, they seem to leave it alone.  I heard once that leaving human hair trimmings around the edges of the garden will keep them out - a yappy dog doesn't hurt either.

My two cats also love prowling around in the gardens and chasing butterflies.

But then something terrible began to happen.  It became clear to me that I was housing a homicidal maniac.  A criminal so ruthless and cunning that there was no stopping  his lust for blood.  A sociopathic murderer with no conscience ... and his name is

Claude Monet.  This mastermind of horror has a number of alias' - C. Monet, Claudie, Claus, and Mr. Goo Ball.  This next part of the post is not for the weak of heart or stomach.  When Claude Monet catches his prey - HE EATS THEIR HEADS OFF.  He then happily brings them to the doorstep where he awaits a "thank you" or in my case, a scream.  Unfortunately, he is also really good at hiding his smaller victims in his mouth and then sneaking them in the house where they are ceremoniously placed in Isabelle's bed, under a sofa cushion, or wherever strikes his fancy.  Mice, chipmonks, birds, bats, bunnies, squirrels - he doesn't care.  If you fall into the catagory of "critter", it is not safe to stop by. 

We now have to do a mouth check every time he comes in.  I've tried scolding him, but as my husband Tony says, "its just in his nature" and Mr. Goo Ball views it as a cherished gift.  I have to say, he does have a look of love in his eyes when he makes his deliveries...

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  1. This is hilarious, C. Monet loves his family and likes to share his bounty with you! I would be shrieking too, though. These cookies are too cute. xo,

  2. love love love the cookie story....LOVE IT!

  3. very cute my kiddos would love your cookies come see what we have been up to at

  4. Too cute. What an adorable story.

  5. Stopping by, carefully, from Time Travel Thursdays. Cats - it's just what they do. I wonder how or if you could get him to stop? Creepy though, isn't it? Loved the cookies, then had to look twice at the last two photos. Your cat looks quite content! Carefully enjoyed my visit ... Thanks,Jenn

  6. Naw, Claude Monet... You have to love cats even though they do horrible things to poor defenseless animals... We have a cat called Claude too- after Claude Debussy (music lovers) You can see a picture of our Mr Claude here if you like!

  7. OK, Claudie needs to take a chill pill! :-) Cute, cute, cute cookies!

  8. Swooning over your amazing talent! We are new followers, hope you will follow us back!


  9. I remember my gramma's kitties presenting her with cardinals and blue birds as gifts on the back porch. They never could understand why she was so upset when they were giving her a gift! So fun and lovely cookies!

  10. The cookies are great and so cute :)

    And you can't be angry with your cat when he is doing something he thinks is good for you. He loves you (and also thinks that you are a poor predator and he has to take care of you).

    A cat won't understand why you are angry with it while it shows you its love. It is the best way to make a cat unsure and unhappy. The only way is to try to get little bells on the cat... or a lot of sound stuff in the garden to try to scare the little critters as far away as possible ^^

    My three cats are living inside. But still they will bring me my wool... or other stuff they love to play with ^^ Once I wake up in my bed surrounded by sooo many ball of wools and one of my cats looked at me quite pleased and expected to be cuddled now.

    Yes... I am glad that it only were balls of wool! ;)

  11. What a beautiful job you've done with these cookies! The cat and bunny are so sweet! You've got quite a gift for cookie decorating. Thanks for sharing on A Well-Seasoned Life's Sweet Indulgences Sunday.

  12. Hi Lisa,
    I just love your cookies and your blog! I am your newest follower. Your cookies are so perfectly decorated, you are very talented. Thank you so much for sharing with Full Plate Thursday and hope you will come back again real soon. Have a great week!
    Miz Helen

  13. Hysterical post- we had one of those fluffy love-filled mass murdering maniacs in our house as well. The "gifts" we all manner of backyard creature, yuck. The most memorable though was the one that got away- I found a poor dead chipmunk in the driveway and shooed the cat away... once I got right on top of the poor thing ready to remove it he sprang to life and jumped onto my pant leg. He clung there for dear life for half a second before I screamed threw everything I was holding out of shear panic and kicked my leg into the air. Our cat was absolutely disgusted with me- ignored me even days after because I let the chipmunk get away.

    P.S. thanks for visiting, leaving a comment, and following my halloween blog- it let me find your blog and now I'm your newest follower!

    Your cookies are amazing!

  14. Yes, one of my friends has a serial killer cat as well. So thankful mine are indoor cats!